It’s been a little while since I posted. I thought it might be time to explain my absence. In very unexpected and surprising course of events, it was discovered that I had severe preeclampsia, which rapidly progressed after it was discovered and was unable to be controlled via medication and intervention. After several hospital stays in the course of 2 weeks for observation and intervention, on Monday, June 27th, at about 10am, it was decided that our sweet baby girl was better off outside in this world than inside.
Less than 30 minutes later, our sweet girl was urgently delivered, nearly 10 weeks before her scheduled due date. As you might imagine, it’s been an eventful 2 weeks. I’ve been out of the hospital for only about 10 days and our baby girl is starting week 3 in the NICU. For where she is in life, she’s doing great, but we have many more weeks and hurdles ahead. My heart breaks and my arms ache for her each day when I leave the hospital without her.
I recognize that preeclampsia is not something I could have “prevented”, that I was just very unlucky to get it and very lucky that it was caught in time to safely deliver my baby girl. The doctors, health care team, and we all believe that her success thus far is greatly due to my good nutrition and fitness prior to and throughout the pregnancy. I did all that I could to give her the absolute best chance. I hate that she has to fight so hard so early in her life…I can only hope she keeps fighting and we can bring her home.
I’m attempting to get back to the blog with recipes and workouts. Yes, I have started some exercise again. I’ve been working hard on rehabbing my abdominals post-c-section to make sure I don’t compromise my back and other stabilizing muscles. I am spending a good amount of time resting, but right now, my mental health needs some stability and some normalcy. Exercise is a way to feel normal for me. It’s a way for me to reconnect to my body, a body I trusted and thought I knew well that in so many ways feels like it failed me. I logically know that it wasn’t my “fault”, that I did everything I could have to have a healthy, happy pregnancy, but it’s hard not to feel like I should have done something differently. Stressed less, slept more, avoided desserts, etc. Anyway, I am trying to re-establish a relationship and sense of trust with my body and myself. It will be a long road; exercise and nutrition are only two components of it. As I pump to produce milk for my baby girl, the importance of my diet and my fitness are so clear. There is so little I can do to help her right now, but providing her with the absolute best source of nutrition for as long as I’m able is one thing I currently can do.
Thanks for reading. May the next few weeks go by quickly and uneventfully.
I recognize that preeclampsia is not something I could have “prevented”, that I was just very unlucky to get it and very lucky that it was caught in time to safely deliver my baby girl. The doctors, health care team, and we all believe that her success thus far is greatly due to my good nutrition and fitness prior to and throughout the pregnancy. I did all that I could to give her the absolute best chance. I hate that she has to fight so hard so early in her life…I can only hope she keeps fighting and we can bring her home.
I’m attempting to get back to the blog with recipes and workouts. Yes, I have started some exercise again. I’ve been working hard on rehabbing my abdominals post-c-section to make sure I don’t compromise my back and other stabilizing muscles. I am spending a good amount of time resting, but right now, my mental health needs some stability and some normalcy. Exercise is a way to feel normal for me. It’s a way for me to reconnect to my body, a body I trusted and thought I knew well that in so many ways feels like it failed me. I logically know that it wasn’t my “fault”, that I did everything I could have to have a healthy, happy pregnancy, but it’s hard not to feel like I should have done something differently. Stressed less, slept more, avoided desserts, etc. Anyway, I am trying to re-establish a relationship and sense of trust with my body and myself. It will be a long road; exercise and nutrition are only two components of it. As I pump to produce milk for my baby girl, the importance of my diet and my fitness are so clear. There is so little I can do to help her right now, but providing her with the absolute best source of nutrition for as long as I’m able is one thing I currently can do.
Thanks for reading. May the next few weeks go by quickly and uneventfully.